


while everyone's lost, the battle is won

by aarobron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 14:41:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12134670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarobron/pseuds/aarobron
Summary: after getting back together, robert and aaron work through their problems, one step at a time.or,“You think it’s always about the money,” Robert says, voice tight and unhappy. His face looks no better, but they have to do this – uncomfortable or not. It was one of the conditions of them giving their relationship another go.The Whites are gone with Rebecca following not far behind, tail between her legs and baby (featuring a shock of dark hair) left with Ross. It’s- alright, yeah, it’s ideal, but Robert can still feel the loss. He’s told Aaron as such.“You think it’s about the money, but it’snot,” Robert continues. His eyes are wide – that one trick he plays to make Aaron believe him, forgive him, but this time. This time it’s real. Aaron’s learnt the difference by now. “It was about the gesture. The money just helped.”





	while everyone's lost, the battle is won

**Author's Note:**

> good afternoon! i've got no idea where this came from, i just woke up with the idea and had to write it.
> 
> title from [all these things that i've done by the killers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZTpLvsYYHw)
> 
> hope you enjoy x

“You think it’s always about the money,” Robert says, voice tight and unhappy. His face looks no better, but they have to do this – uncomfortable or not. It was one of the conditions of them giving their relationship another go. 

The Whites are gone with Rebecca following not far behind, tail between her legs and baby (featuring a shock of dark hair) left with Ross. It’s- alright, yeah, it’s ideal, but Robert can still feel the loss. He’s told Aaron as such. 

“You think it’s about the money, but it’s _not_ ,” Robert continues. His eyes are wide – that one trick he plays to make Aaron believe him, forgive him, but this time. This time it’s real. Aaron’s learnt the difference by now. “It was about the gesture. The money just helped.” 

Aaron casts his mind back, to all the fights and arguments, but he can’t see anything. He can’t see the _gesture_. “I don’t know what you mean,” He says honestly, because he doesn’t. He sees the money – but the rest of it was just words. 

When Robert finally speaks, his voice is wobbly and dangerous. It feels breakable, like this something they can’t come back from. “I gave you a _hundred grand_ , Aaron,” He breathes. He glances away, at his shoes, at the wall next to him. Looks at anything but Aaron. “I gave you that for the house. So you didn’t feel like you were living off Gordon’s blood money.” 

And that’s- yeah, Aaron knows that. He knows that Robert was flashing the cash around, trying to buy the house, trying to make it up to Aaron, but it didn’t _work_. That’s what they’re both trying to prove. “But you can’t buy my forgiveness with a hundred grand,” The younger man says. His tone is low, bordering on aggressive, but months of expensive therapy aren’t going to let him punch Robert now. He breathes through his nose, instead. “You can’t buy my forgiveness at all.” 

“No!” Robert shouts suddenly. He stands up in a flash, fingers curled tightly into the hem of his shirt. He’ll crease it, Aaron thinks absentmindedly. He hates creased shirts. “That’s _not_ what any of that was about! I have never tried to buy you, Aaron!” 

“Well, it all came at a suspicious time, didn’t it?” He snaps, rising to meet Robert. He tilts his chin, and he feels like he’s towering over his (husband, boyfriend, partner - _what are we_?) right now. 

Robert drops his own chin, and Aaron watches it wobble. His eyes are dry, though, red and raw. “It was about you hating yourself for living in a house bought with Gordon’s money. It was about you not being comfortable, about you spending five nights out of seven shaking awake from nightmares. It was about trying to _free_ you from that. I was trying to _help_.” 

“But you can’t just throw money at it and hope those memories will go away!” Aaron hisses. He knows that too well – knows that no matter how much the counselling cost, he still gets overwhelmed by memories of smells and touches and something that makes him sick to his stomach. “All you’ve ever done, Robert, is love money.” 

“I _like_ money,” Robert says simply, like Aaron should know. Like Aaron should know him inside out when Robert barely knows himself. “I love you.” He drops onto the sofa again, bone tired and rubbing his eyes, and all Aaron wants to do is comfort him.

But there’s bigger issues, right now.

The younger man sits too, draws his knees up to his chest and taps his fingers on his shins as he watches Robert. “Then why do I feel like you always put money above us?” He whispers, wiping away the tears that are tracking onto his cheeks. 

“Aaron, you need to _listen_ ,” Robert says. The words are garbled through stress or emotion or something else, but Aaron doesn’t know. Still, the older man drops to his knees, places both hands on Aaron’s legs and makes him look. “I gave you that money so you could be free. I didn’t want you to feel like he’d won again. And I knew that it wasn’t gonna work, but god, can’t I try? I had to do something, because I couldn’t sit here and watch you tear your hair out.” 

He knows that in his heart but it’s always _money_ with Robert, and his mind is stuck on it. “You can’t make me happy with money.” 

“I’m not trying to make you happy with money,” Robert admits, sitting back so he’s resting on his heels. “I’m trying to make us happy by getting rid of that dark cloud above us. I’m trying to help you.” 

And Aaron gets it then, finally, months later, he understands what exactly Robert was doing. He did know, deep down, but so much was happening that he- “Where do you come into this?” He asks, trailing his thumb down Robert’s cheekbone.

The older man exhales and leans into the touch, eyes fluttering shut, and Aaron can’t believe he ever let this go. This man, who would do _anything_ for him – it should be terrifying but he feels safe for the first time in his life. “I’m happy when you’re happy.” 

“I don’t hate that you do things like this,” Aaron explains slowly, taking Robert’s hands and bringing them both to their feet. “I don’t. But I want you to warn me first. Next time you- next time you try to help me, please just tell me. Because marriage is supposed to be about decisions, yeah? And we decide these things together.” 

“Just you and me,” Robert breathes, hands circling Aaron’s waist. He rests their foreheads together, shudders when the younger man’s fingertips dance across his throat. “And Liv, because she’d probably kill us otherwise.”

It draws a soft laugh out of Aaron and he nods, presses his lips to Robert’s chastely. God, that’s one thing from a long list of problems that’s sorted, but it feels like they’ve paved the way to the future.

The battle is won, but the war has just begun. And Aaron doesn’t mind fighting it as long as he’s got Robert.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ [aarobron](http://aarobron.tumblr.com/) xo


End file.
